Local dad frantically trying to remember all his best restaurant jokes as lockdown ends

May 10, 2021

As a long year in quarantine comes to an end and restaurants begin to reopen, dads everywhere are dusting off their best dad jokes in anticipation of a triumphant return to their favorite casual-dining chain restaurant.

If you know, you know, but for dads who don't know, here are a few gems to get you started.

When the host or hostess asks if they can get your name, say sure, but don't you already have one?
When you're eating, and the server asks if they can get you anything else, it's funny if you say yeah, a million dollars!
After literally licking your plate, when they ask how your meal was, be sure to say terrible as you hand them the empty plate.
When they walk up with the check, point to one of your kids and say she's got this one. Bonus points if you can work in a crack about the possibility of your kid washing dishes to satisfy the bill.
Make sure you ask What's the damage? out loud as you look at the bill.
And finally, ask your family if they're ready to rock n' roll when it's time to leave.